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Feature: How-To Guide for Criminal Masterminds

Feature: How-To Guide for Criminal Masterminds
January 28
12:03 2022

By John Christian Hopkins


Have you ever thought about committing the perfect crime – and eluding the long arm of the law?

It is not as easy as you may think. But here’s a handy guide just in case you absolutely have to test your outlaw abilities.

  • Make sure the payoff is worth the risk: Mohammad Ashan apparently needed some quick cash – and he knew how to get it. As a member of the Taliban, there was a $100 reward out for his capture. Ashan turned himself in thinking he could claim the reward.
  • Know when the hold ’em, know when to fold ‘em. Jarad Carr was irate when his new Wal-Mart printer didn’t work. He brought it back to the store, demanding refund. But he had no receipt. As employees checked out the printer they discovered it had jammed as Carr was trying to print out phony $100 bills. Instead of recognizing a good time to fold his hand, Carr became belligerent and the police were called. Police searched Carr and found several counterfeit bills on his person.

    crime scene

  • Make sure you’re up to pulling off the caper: An Ohio man decided to rob a bank. He walked in, but his nerves got the better of him and he fainted. A teller revived him and the man might have just left the bank. Instead, the still-woozy man handed the teller his robbery note.
  • Stick to the plan: Dean Smith went to the bank to change the address on his account. But the teller had walked off, leaving the till open. Unable to resist the temptation Smith hatched a hasty plan to get his hands on the cash. A half-hour later Smith returned to rob the bank. His clever disguise included a pair of sunglasses – and wearing socks over his shoes.
  • What is the plan?: A Montana man broke into the office of his local newspaper. But what was the plan? Stephen Crane checked his personal e-mail on the paper’s computer – and surfed several porn sites. Then he took a fire extinguisher and sprayed the office. Before leaving the office he stole a jar of M&M’s. Police had no trouble following the trail of M&M’s from the newspaper office to Crane’s nearby house.
  • You have the right to remain silent: A man, wanted on drug possession charges, eluded police and hid in the woods. Police were unable to find him. Just as they were about to give up the man forgot to remain silent. He broke wind so loudly that it gave away his hiding place.

Follow these simple rules and you may avoid the forlorn fates of those felons.

Feature: How-To Guide for Criminal Masterminds - overview

Summary: Feature: How-To Guide for Criminal Masterminds


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